Monday, November 22, 2010

Things You Forget When You're Excited About Concerts

Photo Credit to Anna.

I don't know about everyone else, but I absolutely do not think about the downsides of concerts right up until they start rearing their ugly little heads. After all, it's going to be the best night of my life! What could possibly go wrong?

(FYI: Everything I'm about to post has happened to me at at least one of the many concerts I've been to. Maybe I just have bad luck.)

So you show up and, to your dismay, the building is already filled. You're so far back that you can't even see or hear the band.

You (or, in this case, my mother) get attacked by a half drunk woman who apparently thinks you are not walking up the stairs fast enough. Cat fight ensues.

Yay, you made it to front row! Wait a minute, now there are hundreds of people behind you. And all of them want to get closer. You know what this means?


Some idiot decides it's the appropriate time to mosh. This is fine, I guess, if you're at a show with music that's good for moshing: loud, obnoxious, angry, etc. But is it ever appropriate to mosh to this? No. Stop that.

Another idiot decides to crowd surf. On your face.

God, you love this song! Oh, and this song! And the next! So you sing along. Loudly. And then you scream and clap. And you bounce, and you dance, and of course, sweat all over everyone while everyone sweats all over you. Ew.

You meet the band! ...And almost throw up and pass out on them from dehydration.

(Warped Tour '08- Thanks for the water, Jesse.)

And then the next day, regret hits you, when you look like this:

And you feel like you choked on razorblades and then proceeded to get yourself trampled by a bull.

Of course, let's not forget that your wallet looks like this after you hit the merch booth:

I would come up with more, but I'm kind of dying. I went to see Motion City Soundtrack play with A Great Big Pile Of Leaves, Saves The Day, and Say Anything a few nights ago, and of course, I over-exerted myself. I think I may even have caught something from some sick hipster. My throat is destroyed, my head is pounding, I can't tell if I'm warm or freezing, and my body feels like I got hit by a bus.
But it was totally worth it.

Photo Credit to Anna.

Photo Credit to Kari.

So there's that.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Cats > Dogs (And I'll Tell You Why)

Disclaimer: I am aware that it's a matter of personal preference and cannot be confirmed as a fact. I also love dogs, but I'm a cat-lady at heart. Don't hate me for preferring cats. Please? I love you. Now, moving on.

#1: Cats don't make ear-shattering wails at the first inkling of unidentified sound.

#2: You can say "cookie" without getting attacked.

#3: Cats show no shame when scolded, so you don't have to feel bad.

#4: It's less likely for your cats to destroy anything breakable.

#5: Most cats are small enough to fit comfortably in your lap. Too many dogs are not.

#6: (Indoor) Cats don't have to be let out at obscene hours.

#7: Cats don't need affection constantly.

#8: icanhascheezburger is generally far funnier than icanhasahotdog.

#9: It's far better to have five cats in a small home or apartment than to have five dogs.

#10: Cat noses are cute and pink and kissable. Dog noses are gross and cold and wet in the most awkward possible way.

So, there you have it.
And now it is 1:30 AM and I need to sleep.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Why I Hate Peacocks

Alright, so I promised I would talk about this.

When I was young, still in elementary school, and very very naive, I thought all animals were made of fluff and rainbows and happiness. This is not true.

Peacocks are pure evil.

I know this from experience. My mother and I were on a four hour road trip. It was one we went on fairly often, to visit family. So, we stopped at the usual halfway point- what barely passed as a town. It was a gas station, a restaurant, a market, and for some reason a carousel. Everything else was fields and, I'm assuming, houses amidst the trees.

Anyways, I get cheesy crackers of some sort in the gas station because OH MY GOD I NEVER GET TO EAT THESE. What a special treat! As I'm walking out, I see this large, majestic, absolutely stunningly beautiful bird. It was so beautiful, in fact, that I offered it a cracker. Because all animals are made of fluff and rainbows and happiness and there's no reason why I should exercise caution.


Next thing I know, this demon of a bird jumps at me, tail-feathers raised like a great, majestic battle flag.
I remember it went something like this.

No, I am not exaggerating. I ran for my life, as my mother laughed, a hollow, cold-hearted laugh. It was like my worst nightmare, with feathers. Eventually, I found my way back into the car and slammed the door shut. And my mother had the nerve to keep laughing. As if it wasn't the most traumatic moment of my life. I examined myself for peck wounds, and we moved on. But I never, ever forgot the horror of that day.

I am warning you now, with this story. Do not buy into those innocent little faces. Do not be fooled by the jewel-tone feathers of absolute beauty. It will result in disaster.

And above all, I've learned to never, ever share my crackers.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

And in case anyone is wondering, yes I am using polyvore as an excuse not to make a real blog post. (:

So I saw a commercial on TV for a pro-infidelity website today, and it really pissed me off. Not just because it's pro-cheating, but also because I can't believe any channel would actually let that onto television. Seriously, you've gotta be a real greedy sleezeball to let that on TV just for a little extra money.

In other news, I hate the dog I dog-sit. Yet I keep doing it. For free. And I do not know why. And before you ask, I do actually love dogs, and most other animals (peacocks can suck my dick). This dog is just... brutal. Seriously. It's about as big as I am, and it thinks "no" and "down" and "stop" mean "play" and "trample" and "howl incessantly". I'd count the bruises I have from the last day or so, but I'd probably lose track.

Tune in next time for the story about why I hate peacocks.

Let's go

Let's go
Let's go by laurenwithoutsound featuring denim shorts

On an adventureeeee.

Monday, November 8, 2010

It's my birthday.

And I got a bunch of paintbrushes and paint to work with. I'm so excited! I will have to paint something to show on here. In the meantime, duck!

Yeah, I drew that.